Emotion Management ~ Hi all readers! In this article, I will explain one thing that someone often fails to do. Yup! What I mean is emotion. Emotions are a burst of feelings that can develop and recede in a short time. It can also be interpreted as psychological and physiological conditions and reactions such as excitement, sadness, anger, love, etc. Emotions have a lot of expansion. In this article, I will analyze the basic process of emotion emergence and I will offer a solution to clarify something complicated.
You need to know, that when someone is emotional, a bond has actually been established which involves three aspects; someone’s personal, the factor that becomes the cause of emotion, and goodness that becomes the purpose of life We can term the bond as “the bond between I, You, and He”. The word “I” saves the meaning of being an emotionless person, the word “You” saves the meaning as goodness which is the purpose of life, and the word “He” saves meaning as a factor that causes emotion.
“I” in the private sphere is someone with the ability to think and choose. He is able to consider good and bad in his mind and choices. But his thinking ability is limited. It is limited by the devices it has and those it knows. That’s why sometimes he is quick to react to problems that touch his sensitivity. “I” is we who associate with others (humans, animals, plants, discourses, praise, insults, etc.).
“You” in the private sphere is goodness which is the purpose of life. It can be in harmony with others, pleasure, calm, Heaven, and so on. That is what everyone wants, even wanted by all beings. They will do anything to get it.
“He” in the private sphere is another that causes emotion. Usually it arises from two attitudes; intentional and unintentional. Intentional attitude is the attitude of others who aim to make “I” angry or happy. Usually it is done in many ways, such as criticism that drops, insults, physical attacks, praise, respect, and so forth. The unintentional attitude is the behavior of other parties who are considered by “I” as things that disturb, harm, threaten, happy, respectful, and so forth. There are two differences about emotions that arise because of two different attitudes.
If emotions arise because of the intentional attitude of the other party, it means that there has been clear bargaining; I praise you, are you flattered and what is your reaction? I despise you, are you angry and what is your reaction? But if emotion arises because of the other party’s unintentional attitude, then “I” has entered the scope that might give him benefits or losses. In the context of no other party that attracts “I” to be involved in a bargain. “I” is the party offering. In the context of the pattern of love, “He” is a third party whose arrival may not be expected and may be expected to arrive.
So, what’s the problem? The problem is what should be done by “I” if in reality “I” cannot avoid the existence of “You” and “He”?
Before I answer the question above, please note some of the hadith below!
عن أبي هريرة رضي الله عنه , أن رجلا قال للنبي صلى الله عليه وسلم : أوصني . قال : لا تغضب . فردد مرارا , قال : لا تغضب
From Abu Hurairah radliyallaahu ‘anhu, that there was someone who said to the Prophet (Muhammad) sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam, “Give me advice!” He said, “Don’t be angry!” He repeated that statement many times. He said, “Don’t be angry!”
عن حميد بن عبد الرحمن بن عوف أن رجلا أتى النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم فقال ؛ يا رسول الله ، علمني كلمات أعيش بهن ولا تكثر علي فأنسى . فقال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم ؛ لا تغضب
From Humaid bin Abdirrahman bin ‘Auf, that someone came to the Prophet (Muhammad) sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam then said, “O Messenger of Allah, teach me words that I can use as a guide to life, but not too much so that I not forget. “The Messenger of Allah sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam then said, “Don’t be angry!”
عن أبي هريرة رضي الله عنه أن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قال ؛ ليس الشديد بالصرعة ، إنما الشديد الذي يملك نفسه عند الغضب
From Abu Hurairah radliyallaahu ‘anhu, that the Messenger of Allah sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam said, “Strong people are not people who can slam, but strong people are people who can control themselves when they are angry.”
عن أبي هريرة رضي الله عنه قال ؛ قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم ؛ ليس الشديد من غلب الرجال ، ولكن الشديد من غلب نفسه
From Abu Hurairah radliyallaahu ‘anhu, he said, “Allah’s Messenger sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam said, “Strong people are not people who can defeat many people. But strong people are people who can control himself.”
عن أبي ذر رضي الله عنه قال ؛ قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم ؛ إذا غضب أحدكم وهو قائم فليجلس ، فإن ذهب عنه الغضب ، وإلا فليضطجع
From Abu Dharr radliyallaahu ‘anhu, he said, “Allah’s Messenger sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam said, “If there is one of you angry when he stands, then he must sit so that his anger is gone, if not he must lie down.”
All readers! If we observe some of the hadith above, then we certainly know already, that the main problem is how to control yourself. The ability to control oneself, perhaps more precisely, the ability to control emotions under any circumstances becomes an important factor that determines results. Some of the hadiths above explain how important it is to manage emotions. Even in the hadith it is explained that a strong person is someone who is able to control himself, his anger, when he is angry. Strong people are not people who are able to slam heavy objects or people who are able to defeat many people.
I myself realize that it’s not easy to do that! Self-control when emotions are not a simple matter. It’s complicated. The solution is we must understand the fatal risks and the most fatal risks due to anger. I think this also applies to other types of emotions; happy, sad, etc.
But what may be a feeling of happiness can give fatal consequences? Of course! If it is expressed in the wrong way, it can have fatal consequences.
Then what should be done by “I” if in reality “I” cannot avoid the existence of “You” and “He”?
If you understand the short explanation above, then you already know, that what “I” has to do is understand the ins and outs of “He” and what it offers.
Thus, the party that must be understood by “I” is himself, then “He”. The aim is that “You” are not disturbed and that the bond that exists between “I, You, and He” becomes a harmonious bond, because actually the first thing a person must face, by “I”, is himself. If someone, “I”, cannot face himself, it will be very difficult if he faces another party.
That is a brief explanation of emotion management. May be useful! Amen!
See you again in the next article!